How to Talk to Your Child About Going to Therapy? 7 Helpful Tips

Are you a parent noticing that your child is struggling emotionally?

Maybe you are concerned that his or her emotional functioning isn’t quite what you would expect for their age.

Maybe you have depression or anxiety in your family and you are noticing your child may be showing some signs of emotional distress?

Or, you may have another reason that you think it is a good idea to bring your child to a child psychologist.

Whatever your reasons may be, once you take the brave first step in scheduling your first appointment, you may be wondering how and what to say to your child.

Here are some ideas, examples, and tips for parents on how to handle this situation:

          1. Have a phone consultation to get an understanding of the person who are meeting with to see if you think they are qualified to address your unique situation.

In my practice, I  speak to parents initially on the phone before they come in to get a sense of what they are looking for and to see if I think I can help their child and family.

Oftentimes, the initial meetings is with parents alone, without the child present. A lot of child therapists do things this way, but it can vary.  Even in some circumstances, I may do things differently. Sometimes if the client is an older child or teen, it may be appropriate to meet with the child alone or even all together.

          2. Be honest and open in talking about the reasons you are seeking help for your child. Don’t surprise or blindside them. Some examples of what you can say are:  “we spoke to this nice lady on the phone about helping with your worries”, or “we meet with this ‘feelings doctor’ last week who works with kids to help them feel better and we think she may have some interesting ideas on how we can help.”

        3. Then elaborate with specific information. “We want to meet with a special feelings doctor who knows a lot about kids worries and fears and can help us all come up with some strategies for doing things so that you can feel and act more brave.” You can say “you know how you have been more sad, fearful, worried than usual and having a hard time going to bed at night? We want to learn some new ways to help.”

        4. Communicate that therapy can be a team/ family approach and that everyone in the family may have goals. When you share the responsibility with your child, you can help him or her feel less embarrassed or ashamed at having a “problem.” When you role model that it is a brave act to ask for help you are setting a good example and demonstrating resourcefulness.

        5. Recognize and reward kids for good effort. As adults, we know well that change is hard so by acknowledging your child’s hard work, you validate their efforts.

       6. Don’t forget to mention that therapy can be fun. It is not the serious depiction of Freudian analysis, lying on the couch characterized in the media. Child therapy is fun. They are learning about their feelings and new ways to express themselves. In my practice, I have art supplies, activity books, toys and games that I use as part of therapy. Depending on your child’s age it may not be unusual to sit on the floor while playing and talking or draw at the art table.

       7.  Lastly, it is important to let your child know that they can give feedback on how therapy is going. I want to know if they like the sessions and if they don’t and what we can do to make therapy better and a good use of time so that everyone can meet their goals!

If you are interested in learning more about child cognitive behavioral therapy, please use my online scheduler to schedule an initial phone consultation.