If you or a loved one has suffered from anxiety, you know how uncomfortable it is and you may feel like you would do just about anything to make the feelings go away. While some strategies are effective at decreasing the distress associated with anxiety, some common techniques and beliefs we have about anxiety can actually make anxiety worse. If you are wondering what you can do differently to feel better, it is a good idea to have an understanding of common tricks that anxiety plays on us.
I will explain these common anxiety tricks here.
1) Firstly, we may mistakenly believe that we should have zero anxiety. The fact is, we need our feelings. Our feelings give us good information about what is going on around us and what needs to change. Low levels of anxiety are good. Anxiety reminds us to look both ways when we cross the street and reminds us to study when we have an upcoming test. If we think we need to eliminate anxiety, we will not win, in fact we will lose. Pay attention to your feelings and see where they guide you.
2) Another trick is that anxiety should be logical. Of course it’s not logical. The very nature of anxiety is that it is illogical and irrational and it tricks us into believing that highly unlikely events of death, doom, and destruction are definitely going to happen to us. Once we accept that anxiety is illogical we can stop trying to talk ourselves out of it and understand its’ very nature. This helps us move forward in learning how to cope.
3) You cannot tolerate uncertainty. Uncertainty is a part of life. We can develop a tolerance for uncertainty. While it is understandable that we may want to know what the outcome of certain events, it is actually impossible to know everything. Anxiety can fuel us into spending a lot of time in trying to get these answers, but the real answer comes with accepting not knowing.
4) You need to control everyone, everything, and especially your feelings is another big trick. It is impossible to control the outside world. You cannot control external events, what happens to you, and what your friends and family do or say. You also cannot control your feelings. What you can control is how you choose to respond to feelings and situations. You don’t have to react and you don’t have to avoids things. By recognizing and accepting your emotions you can learn how to regulate them and respond in ways you prefer.
5) You can’t do things on your own. Watch out for this one! This is another big trick. Crippling anxiety can get us to avoid making decisions and complete tasks independently. You can make a decision without knowing if it is the right decision and you can do things on your own.
6) If you avoid your fears you will feel better. No way! That is clearly an anxiety trick. In fact, the opposite is true. When you avoid your fears your fear and anxiety will grow. When you face your fear it will get smaller and more manageable! It’s true and it has been proven by research.
7) You must analyze and understand the source of your fear. Again, not true. In fact, the research shows that over-analyzing is a type of avoidance behavior. Actually, understanding current behaviors that maintain anxiety and creating new behavioral patterns will result in great changes and relief.
8) You better check, over and over and over again. This is flat out wrong. Excessive checking is an anxiety symptom and the more we do it the worse it gets. When you can get past the urge of resisting checking behaviors you will feel better. The same principle goes for excessive reassurance seeking. Not only will excessive reassurance seeking increase your own and others’ frustration, it will make the problem worse instead of better.
Once you understand anxiety tricks, you can turn around how you cope with anxiety, change your behaviors, tolerate feelings, and get back to living a meaningful life where you can meet your goals. Cognitive behavioral therapy with mindfulness and exposure is a highly proven method that works quickly and is highly effective. To schedule a free phone consultation go to my online scheduler and choose initial phone consultation and we can determine if we are a good fit to work together.
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